Now that the NFL season is dead and gone. It's time for us here at Touchdown Dance to look back, reflect and hand out our 1st Annual McSpazzie Awards. These awards are a reflection of how we seen the best play on the field and a not so serious look at the NFL and some of its players and news. So go pop in a bag of microwave popcorn, sit back, realx and enjoy the 1st Annual McSpazzie Awards.
League MVP
Despite losing the Super Bowl the McSpazzie goes to Peyton Manning. With by far the least talented squad he has had in a while Manning found a way to get the points he needed for him and the Colts to reel off 14 straight victories before giving the starters a break late in the season. There were many great quarterback performances this year by the likes of Drew Brees, Brett Farve and Aaron Rodgers, but without Manning the Colts could have easily gone 2-14 instead of the 14-2 mark they did post.
Offensive Player of the Year
After a horrendous (0-6) start, the Titans lead by Chris Johnson found their way back to .500 by season's end. Despite not making the playoffs Johnson lead the Titans way with an uncanny 11 straight 100+ yards rushing games. This accomplishment alone is worthy of his 1st ever McSpazzie award.
Defensive Player of the Year
I haven't seen coverage like this since the days of Primetime, so the year that New York Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis hadis more than deserving for his 1st ever McSpazzie. Revis held a large number of top receivers to their worst games of the year in holding all of these guys to under 50 yards receiving while matched up; Andre Johnson, Randy Moss (twice), Marques Colston, Terrell Owens, Roddy White, Reggie Wayne and Chad Ochocinco (twice).
Offensive Rookie of the Year
Not only did he have a movie made of his life The Blind Side, but Baltimore Ravens (RT) Michael Oher proved to be much more than just a Hollywood rags to riches story. Offensive lineman get little pub, but this rookie helped pave the way for a very good Ravens running attack while he also proved to be a good pass blocker. Oher has a great career ahead of him and may make more money from movie royalties than he ever will in the league.
Defensive Rookie of the Year
With a quad of NFL quality linebackers entering in the league from one school in one draft class it was hard to determine who would make the biggest impact the quickest. The Houston Texans Brian Cushing proved to be the best of the bunch thus far in not only winning his 1st McSpazzie, but also nabbing a Pro Bowl selection in the process. Cushing racked up huge numbers (134 tackles, 4 sacks, 4 int and 2 FF) as the Texans begin to develop one of the best young linebacker corps in the league.
Comeback Player of the Year
I don't know what it is about Texas Longhorn running backs, but they sure seem to need a swift kick in the butt before they realize they aren't God's gift to football in the NFL. The Cincinnati Bengals Cedric Benson finally grabbed his potential, talent and last NFL chance and ran like the wind with it. Benson turned in a strong season (1,251 yards and 6 touchdowns) which he carried the Bengals to their first playoff appearance in 4 seasons.
Bust of the Year
I drank the kool-aid when the news broke as I dreamed of long passes and multiple touchdowns leading my favorite NFL squad (Chicago Bears) to the promiseland. Those daydreams quickly turned into real nightmares as Jay Cutler threw his way to 26 interceptions and dashed hopes and dreams of adoring Bear fans.
Coach of the Year
They started (0-6) and he reluctantly threw in his back-up quarterback, but the Tennessee Titans coach Jeff Fisher never lost his team's ear or faith that they could right the ship and have at least a puncher's chance at the playoffs. Though they failed to make it back to the NFL Sweet 16 the team never quit despite lackluster defensive talent and multiple injuries to the quality players on that side of the ball. My hats off to Jeff Fisher and the Titans who play the game with a never say die mentality.
Keeping White Football Alive
The New Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker runs around on the field like he is dodging bullets. Which he is, they are just formed in large black men trying to take his head off. Welker was able to reach the 100+ reception plateau and keep the hopes alive for young white receivers everywhere.
Best Touchdown Dance
There are a ton of guys within the league who can dance a good jig, but few put in as much time, effort and fine money as the Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco. Chad not only wins his 1st McSpazzie for his originality, but also for being fearless in expressing himself within the No Fun League.
Best Criminal
As a society, we love to see the rich and famous fall flat on their faces. We seek out the misery of others. This year's McSpazzie recipient Donte Stallworth's criminal act is no laughing matter as another man lost his life, because of Stallworth's irresponsibilty. The manslaughter plea cost Stallworth some jail time and a lost year in the league, but Sheriff Goodell reinstated the person plower after the Super Bowl. Ah, only in America can you run someone over with your car and then get to go make millions of dollars to play a game.
Worst Hair
This was a two horse race by a pair of teamates that play the same position, but only one could win the 1st McSpazzie. The proud recipient is Green Bay Packer AJ Hawk who's long thin locks not only makes him look like a death metal wannabe, but also even uglier than he already is.
Most Annoying 1st Down Pointer
He is one my favorite NFL players, but the Pittsburgh Steelers Hines Ward must stop with the over celebration of a minimal task within a part of his job. If everybody in the world took as much time celebrating small tasks within their work day not much would get done. NFL players should be allowed to celebrate, but leave it for the endzone and victories which is the ultimate goal of their work.
Best Hillybilly Death
We all heard over and over in how Cincinati Bengals receiver Chris Henry was turning his life around. So how in the hell did he find himself in the back of a pick-up truck attempting to beat through the back window to do who knows what to his fiance who he was arguing with. Getting thrown from a speeding truck and dying is the ultimate hillbilly death whether he was straightening his life out or not.
Deer in Headlights
He may be a "football genius", but New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick made his fair share of questionable calls that lead to a couple extra losses this season for his team. He complains and blames talent, but those questionable decisions only made him look wide-eyed and shocked as teams rolled over his once mighty squad.
Psychopath of the Year
This guy has it out for everybody. From his girlfriends, to teammates, gay people and especially coaches. The former Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson lost his marbles after a loss where he called out coaches and fell into a childish game of name calling. Johnson was ultimately cut and the Chiefs found an instant and better replacement in Jamal Charles while Johnson moved to Cincinnati to fill a back-up roll. This guy is on his way to a life of bad highlights once the lights of his NFL career is over.
Best Sack Dance
Being a huge man doesn't usually translate well into celebration or dancing all together, but the Minnesota Vikings Jared Allen throws his all into his sacking celebrations. Allen is by far my favorite football hillbilly and is a lot smarter and funnier than one may think. His calf roping routine is original and true to his roots and himself. Not to mention he does it an awful lot with as many times as he brings down opposing quarterbacks.
There you have it, the 1st Annual McSpazzies have been handed out almost as fast as Devin Hester runs out of bounds to avoid a tackle. I hope you enjoyed are little show and stay tuned next season for even more awards and nonsense.
